being high is a way of life! you feel the wind on your cheeks, the smell of weed entering your pores, tickles on your fingers, chills coming up and down your body and everything your suppose to feel cold you feel it warm.. is a mixture of temperatures. Its even unnexplainable.. this is one of those things you have to experience to know what im talking about. your consciousness is at a level you cant reach with anything else.
im officialy grounded for excaping to guanica at least it was worth it! I need weed, I know its not suppose to be addicting but i just feel the need to feel high. i havnt smoke since my weekend in guanica and i feel im not even myself anymore. I feel depressed all the time and life doesnt make any sense anymore. Yesterday i was thinking that there’s one year left and i havent done the things i want to.. I just want my old life back, the one where I went out every weekend and got high and drank and got late and just had fun! I don’t even go out that much anymore and I’m loosing my confidence and mostly myself. Today we were in psycology and one of my best friends called Daenna was talking and i was just thinking wow I’m gonna miss her so much next year and its not going to be the same thing anymore without her. I could told her anything at all and she wont judge me and I could do the most andom things around her and wouldn’t care. My other best friend is leaving next year too.. he’s sergio and I’m thinking like this could be the last time I see them and makes me want to cry so hard like if I wasnt gonna be able to see my family every day anymore! I really hope this year is exciting and adventurous and the truth is I’m going to keep smoking if i feel like it, drinking, doing other drugs ones in a while and enjoying every moment! I’m responsible for myself and for my body, I’m not harming anyone so why can’t I do what makes me happy? why can’t I be me without being judged or talked about.. I really love my best friend shary and I care about her I think more than anyone and I would do anything for her but I think if she’s my friend she has to accept the way I am and has to accept I will smoke if I want to and do crazy things.. because the truth is I’m dont want to remember my teenage years being bored in my house and obeying everything people tell me! I want to remember it like an exciting adventure, a risky one and one that I will never forget:)
